Monday, August 18, 2008

List Of Useless Information Volume 1

Random list of 5 so called celebrities I'd have meaningless ex with and 5 I'd rather watch dew form on the lawn then see naked.Not in any order:

1.Angelina Jolie-Tattoos,blow job lips and the sense that she could fuck me up at any time? I'm sold.

2.Jennifer Love Hewitt-She looks sweet and innocent though as much of a serial dater as she is,I know there's a dirty whore underneath.Besides ever since I ran her over at Tower records and her boobs were crushed against my belly,I've been hooked.

3.Tiffani (no longer Amber) Theissen-Two words,Kelly Kapowski.When she got cast as a bad girl on 90210,I might have masturbated on the spot.Great casting Aaron Spelling.You were a freaking genius.

4.Salma Hayek-Despite the fact that I never understand a word of what she's saying (which might be a good thing) I am strangely attracted to this spicy enchilada.Her boobs were spectacular when she was knocked up.

5.Monica Belucci-Being the hottest Italian export since Sophia Loren notwithstanding,I can't help but admire the fact that she is not opposed to showing her boobs in just about any movie she does.Bella indeed.

Now we come to the opposite end of the spectrum:

1.Sarah Jessica Parker-Any broad that has a website dedicated to her called has to head this list.No wonder her husband cheated on her with Karen from Will & Grace

2.Tyra Banks-Remember when she was considered hot? That was before she opened her fat mouth and I realized she is a pathetic shrew that can't keep a man.Could her forehead be any bigger and greasier?

3.Oprah-The fact that sofa riding housewives hang on every word she says is why she must be eliminated.I'm not sure if there is a God and a Satan,but if there is I have no doubt that Oprah is sporting the horns.

4.Jessica Simpson-If the good lord has given the human race a more intellilectually challenged human being,I would like to meet them.Nick Lachey,Bam Margera,John Mayer and Tony Romo? The prostitution rests.

5.Any other member of the cast from Sex In The City-Seriously could there be a bigger collection of skanks?Well maybe on Desperate Houswives.


Iris said...

sorry. samantha fox is a must have. if you arent going to do her i may be forced to take your turn after which she would never need a man again. just sayin.

Garbaby said...

really don't think you want my opinion on this one...