Tuesday, October 7, 2008

You Know What Grinds My Gears

Not in any order,but here's what annoys me:

-Going to Las Vegas and seeing naked kids peeing on the grass,300 pound men shirtless at the bus stop plus ghetto chicks pounding down a 40's of malt liquor by the side of the road at 9am.This is not the Vegas I want to see.I want roulette tables (with me winning) bright lights,fake boobs and stupid tourists.Is that too much to ask Las Vegas? If I want to see white trash in all its glory,I'll go to New Jersey

-Anorexic chicks.What the fuck?Did the too skinny bitches not get the memo that bones aren't sexy?If I can see your shoulder blades sticking out,I am repulsed not turned on.Eat a fucking burger for pete's sake!

-Sometimes on my lunch hour (that I tend to stretch to 90 minutes) I get on a creative roll and just when I think I can't stop,I have to go back to my 8 hour a day prison.Fuck I hate having the creative juices flowing then having to walk away.I think I should be given money on a daily basis to exercise my creative genius.Don't you?

-Why do people (and by people I mean whores,both of the male and female persuasion) try to blame poor defenseless alcohol when they cheat on their significant others?The real use for alcohol is to put it to blame when you wake up next to someone uglier than yourself.Not that I would know anything about that.

-Stop trying to be Oprah,Tyra Banks.You just might be the queen of high maintenance vapid whores.Why do you think you can't keep a man? Or maybe its just that ginormous forehead of yours.Next time you get a weave,maybe get one with bangs.

-Why would the television programmers put on Two and a Half Men,How I Met Your Mother,Heroes,Sarah Connor Chronicles,Monday Night Raw and Monday Night Football all on the same freaking night.I can only DVR so much you sadistic sons of bitches.I hate you.

1 comment:

Iris said...

grinding is good.

in vegas, is it considered white trash if you pound down malt liquor at 9:05 a.m.? is it the pounding or the timing that grinds you?

it's nice to know that at least one man in america doesn't like bony chicks. us "curvy" girls hate those skinny bitches.

there IS a way for men like you to exercise their creative genius. two words. SUGAR. MOMMA.

you have simultaneous quality television viewing opportunities. quit bitching. at least you CAN dvr your shit.